Due to the fact that the fire storm is coming, we are demanding Justin Smith purchase a boat, aka a dinghy. Uses of the boat will be as follows:
1) Fun
Under no circumstances will this boat be used to transport slaves of any kind. Common excuses (such as lack of funds) are not acceptable. Potential side effects of boat ownership are listed below:
A) Cure for cancer
B) Lots of fish
Amid all these facts, rumors have recently surfaced that Mr. Smith has no intentions of acquiring said boat. Please sign this petition and send this all the way to the White House.
thanks,
go dodgers