Formally apologize for instigating the War of Northern Aggression, which caused the South to fall from it's former glory

The War of Northern Aggression, also known as the Civil War, was a conspiracy by the Obama administration to remove the south from it's ever so powerful dominance. Obama needs to apologize for the years of hurt it has put on our families and take action to restore the south to it's former glory. THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN!