During a speech in New Jersey on Tuesday, May 28, 2013, President Barack Hussein Obama told the American people that, as a friend of his would say, "Down the shore, everything's alright."
The leader of the free world then attributed that quote to "the Boss," a colloquial term used by drunk people to refer to one Bruce Frederick Joseph Springsteen.
While it is without dispute that Bruce Springsteen is Our Greatest American, the President of the United States of America has done a great disservice to free people everywhere, and Thomas Alan "Tom" Waits especially, by incorrectly attributing Waits' classic ballad "Jersey Girl" to Mr. Springsteen.
We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect union, hereby demand that President Obama formally apologize to Mr. Waits.