As suggested by John Steward on The Daily Show: we, the people, hereby petition that every U.S. citizen is granted a fake Twitter girlfriend/boyfriend by the government.
Every American should be able to feel the joys and responsibilities that come with a face Twitter partner, so that no one in this great nation feels alone or is discriminated against for being single on Twitter.
Since not everyone has the time, creativity or skills required to create such an account we feel this is best done on a federal level.
Thank you in advance for your support.
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