My friend Jasper(Michael Jones) has been being molested by our justice system. He is a devout perverted alcoholic and is currently stuck in a halfway house unable to drink and laugh with his friends. This travesty must be stopped and his freedom must be returned. On behalf of the American people I ask that he have a full presidential pardon from every charge he has ever gotten and he be compensated $100,000 for this invasion of privacy and disruption of alcoholism.



