Our country was founded on the First Amendment and the freedom of religion. Our one true God, Nicolas Cage, is being religiously persecuted by having sacred documents kept away from him. While it is true that he could just steal the Deceleration at anytime and this issue will be resolved, it would be a wonderful gesture to him and to his followers if he was to be formally given it.
Mr. President, I urge you to reply to our request, especially since he may kidnap you if you do not respond.



