The People of a beautifully imperfect union, petition on this righteous day for the president of our United States, Barack Hussein Obama to oversee, in spirit, each and every transaction involving the lowest common denominator of any US share ever traded or sold within the borders of our great nation.
If there be just one US dollar, we petition for a 50/50 chance that the face and name on that dollar used to feed or finance the pursuit of happiness for myself or another be the father of this country or the Grandchild of the finest independent nation, President Obama! May an adorable depiction beneath "In God we Trust" slide across the counter, bid a taxi for a fare or top off my glass for one, two, three or more. I wish for another eight but you have given us more than enough. Thank you!