Obviously, those who signed the petitions in the "Peacefully grant the State of 'Insert Here' to withdraw from the United States of America and create its own NEW government" are the ones that are holding back progress in America. We can't let anyone encourage the disunity of the United States because it's obviously un-American and unpatriotic, and sets a horrible example to the rest of the world! So, instead of granting states permission to secede, round up all of the sore people who did not want Obama to win and peacefully allow them to settle somewhere where they can "prosper" in their own new government, leaving the United States of America free of ignorance, hatred, disrimination, and racism!
I hear Antarctica is very beautiful this time of year.
/troll