Is hair loss and poor taste in eyewear related? We the people ask that all men be screened for a likely genetic link.

It's come to my attention that my taste in eye wear has come under question. I thought it was clear that my previous transition lenses were a perfect metaphor for my life decisions at that point. While I still support my brothers in transition, I have made the decision to go with a "military look." After wearing... nay killing it... in my current glasses, I petition that the United States study the genetic linkage between receding hairlines and just amazing taste in sporty, yet functional eye wear.