So, everyone wants to secede these days. So much so that the White House just about has to respond. Well, we would like to call for the most appropriate and measured response we can think of.
Should we just roll in there with drone attacks on the petitioners who are surely waving bayonets riding around on horses (or at least Camaros with Confederate flags)? No. That would be silly.
However, we feel we have come up with the most appropriate response.
President Obama should address these secessioners by giving a press conference to address their concerns.
A press conference in which he stands there nodding his head and grinning as Nas and Puff Daddy perform Hate Me Now.
Do you agree with this call to action? Of course you do.