Have the Cincinnati Reds sign me as a player, I am a 48 yr old Liver Transplant Recipient but I Never Give Up I Got game

I am a lifelong Cincinnati Reds fan, as a child all through my 48 years on this Earth my dream was to put on the uniform of The Big Red Machine. The only thing that stopped me was talent. I think talent should not be a deciding factor in this Politically Correct 21st Century.
If I could suit up alongside Joey Votto and the other Reds players it would allow me to show everyone that a fat 48 year old balding Liver Transplant Recipient that is lazy can achieve his dream the Old Fashioned Way, with Political Connections! That's right, who need talent when I could have the power of the Presidency behind my dream of playing for the Reds just like Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson and other hustlers push for less talented people to attain their lifelong dreams without hard work or talent. My Time!