On February 12, 2016, ESPN writer Tom Haberstroh said no one would wish for NBA players to compete drunk, stating, "OK, let's see how they do if we make them all drunk before they play, so everybody has to do six shots before they do the game.' Would anyone in their right minds consider that?"
I consider myself to be of sound mind, and have considered it diligently, and think it would be AMAZING.
This petition therefore requests that all NBA All-Stars be required to take at least six (6) shots of liquor (of at least 80 proof) before the beginning of the game, proportionate to the weight of the least-weighty All-Star, unless said All-Stars have a previously-stated objection to the consumption of alcohol, and that they be further required to consume at least two (2) shots during the game.