Dearest President,
Please make it an easier process for me to bring my lovely Mexican sweetheart up to Alaska without having to marry her. It seems right now this is the only convenient way for her to do this. We like to consider ourselves responsible and do not want to take this route and then find out the dark winters and freezing cold temperatures are too much. I also need to make sure my mother approves of her in Pennsylvania. Anyway this is my attempt to contact you. Thank you,
D Harris
Ps This is a totally serious message I just tagged the tv shows in hopes they may find this.