ignore, and publicly laugh at, all of the seccession petitions.

Unilateral secession is unconstitutional, per the SCOTUS, and the Executive branch does not posses the legal power to grant secession to a state even if the SCOTUS had ruled differently. Secession from the United States is only possible via revolution or consent of the state(s) seeking secession. Given that these secession petitions are the work of childish people who want to proverbially "take their ball and go home" because they didn't like the results of the presidential election, their efforts on this site deserve nothing but derision and ridicule. Therefore, we request that President Obama ignore any and all secession petitions on this site and that he publicly mock the creators of said petitions.