This petition calls for the Obama administration to immediately change the name of the United States of America to the Divide States of America. Alternatively we, the here undersigned, will accept the following proposed titles for the country: The Red and Blue States of America, the Democratic Republican Haters of North America, the Republican Democrat Haters of North America, or the Imperial Nuke Holders of the World.
We request that the chosen nomenclature be applied retroactively to all political and legislative documents.
Furthermore, we declare the man with username "Canadian Bacon" as our new Emperor and we will also stop calling ham and peameal bacon 'Canadian bacon.' Instead, all bacon (particularly that of the maple smoked variety) will be henceforth referred to as Canadian bacon.
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