WHEREAS Prince Alex Anthopoulos is the rightful heir to the throne of Castle Skydome
WHEREAS Mark Shapiro the Usurper (alias Skeletor), has conspired with Grand Chancellor Rogers to seize power
WHEREAS playing in The Big Boys Club requires a virility that the SMALL MARKET MENTALITY that these latter have imposed on the shining glory of Blue Jays Nation is resolutely determined to quash, making us, its united and sole legitimate representatives, into a group of sissified weaklings that belies our vigor and personal magnetism
Now, therefore, be it that President Obama and the White House administration intervenes via diplomatic channels, or thus failing, via active military intervention, to remove the Usurper from power, and further sign Bartolo Colón as Bey of the Sanjak of the Soul.