The harsh winter conditions of 2013-201 left many Americans despondent and dejected. One (not necessarily exclusive) reason for this is the lack of Snow Monkeys in our environment. Just think about it: who could possibly be despondent or dejected if there were Snow Monkeys playing outside?
Therefore, I call upon the Obama Administration to import Japanese Snow Monkeys and release them into the wilds of America; to counter the Winter Malaise that has set in within these United States ; to lift the spirits of all Americans; that we may all enjoy a Merry Monkey Christmas and Monkey New Year — every year.
God Bless America.