This nation has become unrecognizable in comparison to what it once was. We have no claim to the free and sovereign republic which respected individual freedom and human rights for 20 years in the late 20th century. It is with this in mind that we petition the White House to introduce a stylish new flag and an exciting new name! Something with pizazz! Somethin' funky! Like The Solemn Republic of Cynicism and Abandonment. Flag should be black or red. Something really tough and scary looking without losing that corporate edge! We need a logo, too! Something that synergizes our complacent outlook with our vibrant indifference! Let's do this, Nation Formerly Known As The U.S.A!
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