In order to purge our society & culture from the scourge of parasitic celebrities whom corrupt our children & values, & compromise our national security by degrading our international reputation... I hereby petition the U.S. government to institute celebrity hunger games to commence annually beginning in 2014.
The further existence of one of these celebrities is acceptable, but the existence of all harms our nation irreparably & must be dealt with swiftly & decisively.
The 2014 inductees of the 1st Annual U.S. Celebrity Hunger Games, sentenced for their grave crimes against humanity are:
Lindsay Lohan
The entire "Kardashian Klan"
Amanda Bynes
Honey Boo Boo & her redneck family
Paris Hilton
Nadya "Octomom" Suleman
The entire cast of Jersey Shore
The Real Housewives of New Jersey