Invade Canada/Proclaim the global American Empire!

By "liberating" our neighbor to the north, a vital buffer will be formed against the encroaching polar bear horde. They aim to avenge our destruction of their once icy (now watery) homes, and they must be stopped. We would also be seizing one of the world's largest strategic reserves of maple syrup - a valuable resource sure to boost the nascent recovery. Luckily, this won't grow the deficit, as no increases in defense spending will be needed (after all, these are Canadians we're talking about). Our proposed invasion would partly be in retaliation; an assault on the ears, we sympathize with those members of the NSA who, in their patriotic attempts at hunting down those evil telemarketers, may have been forced to listen