Using the power of eminent domain reinforced by Kelo v. City of New London, 545 U.S. 469, we petition the U.S. Government to condemn an inherently useless building on the campus of Rice University. This building, Martel Dormitory, has been a blight upon our campus for far too long a period. If the government is so inclined, we could remove this eyesore and replace it with something far more useful, such as a parking garage or a petting zoo.
To summarize our argument, Martel is not a college, and as such, this abomination of the American dream should be eliminated from the face of our glorious nation.