In consideration to the partisan devotion to endless, expensive and totally baseless investigations of their political opposition in congress, we hereby recommend to the President of the United States:
That the President before leaving office issue a full and complete pardon of Sec. Hillary Clinton, former President William Clinton, and Chelsea Clinton for any and all crimes committed by them prior to the date of signing said pardon.
Furthermore, let it be declared that no one believes any of these people referenced did any crimes but that without this pardon the opposition party will continue to waste tremendous amounts of time and taxpayer money persecuting their political opponents to regain power instead of their duty to improve the lives of the People of the United State.