Let the Red States Secede

Dear Red States:
Majority of Americans are ticked off at your Neanderthal attitudes and politics and we've decided WE'RE leaving to form our own country and we're taking the Blue States with us. To sum up briefly:
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.
We get Andrew Cuomo and Elizabeth Warren. You get Bobby Jindal and Todd Akin. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get OpryLand. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states pay their fair share. Since our divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get happy families.