Guys, guys, GUYS! And gals.... We need to move on. Illinois just doesn't understand our free spirit and overall way better everything. I mean, Rockford Illinois, who cares? Lincoln, pppphhhh, eeewww! Mahattan, gag me with a spoon. We need to secede and get a better state to be our collective man. I was thinking either California or New York. A real man. A better man. Not some middle of nowhere farm man. I want someone to love us for who we are, and someone who's rich and handsome. Let us make the right choice and GET DA FFFFFUUUCK OUT,
Love Chicago.citizens.
P.S. New York doesn't put ketchup on their hot dogs, God bless them, every one.