We the people of the United States of America, desire a more peaceful snacking experience. One that can't be gained from normal, sane snack foods. Further, we believe that Cheetos are better grasped by tiny little hands and are therefore more accessible to Americans of all colors, creeds and races, regardless of glove size.
This is historical material “frozen in time”. The website is no longer updated and links to external websites and some internal pages may not work.
