We the people of the United States have become aware of insidious threat to American freedom: the presidential candidacy of Ms. Jaclyn Hovsmith. To preserve our freedoms, we have brainstormed a solution – make Jaclyn Hovsmith president of the Pacific Garbage Patch. This solution is twofold in its successes. First, Americans will finally be rid of her heinous toupee, which seems to be impairing her brain function. Second, we believe Ms. Hovsmith will be happier in an environment that reflects her personality – utter trash.
We the people implore you to make America great again. Get Hovsmith out and get her to her fellow garbage people ASAP.