In a time when America suffers a dearth a awesomeness, our immigration policy says that Julia Brommel has to pack up and go back to Europe in less than a couple of weeks.
This is a travesty, Mr. President.
Look at the numbers. Julia's presence among us single-highhandedly increases America's nation's Gross National Awesomeness by 4.9 points and our median loveability by a factor of three.
And we can't allow the guitar-playing-Germans-who-speak-English-with-an-Irish-accent gap to increase any further. If Julia leaves, we're back down to zero. What then?
Please, Mr. President. You have the power to let Julia stay in the U.S. indefinitely, I think. Do the right thing and give her citizenship, and a job, and a shiny new guitar.