If we're going to have a holiday where Americans drink and act like they're hispanic, (Cinco de Mayo) and a holiday where Americans get drunk and act like they're Irish (St. Patrick's Day) I propose we start having a holiday where we drink and pretend we're Italian. We can call it "Spaghetti Day" and we'll all just drink a bunch of red wine, eat spaghetti, and watch The Godfather.
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