mandate, by law, that one Alex Bowling must bring back the chinstrap facial hair.

For years, Alexander Bernard "Poofy" Bowling epically rocked a chinstrap. He managed to create a persona that was larger than life. This petition is created with the hopes of bringing about a change in the world that can only improve conditions for all of humanity. It is my hope that as this petition gains support, President Obama will mandate by law that Poofy MUST bring back the well-maintained facial hair. Additionally, it is my hope that Mr. Obama will also require that Poofy get both ears pierced and diamond studs placed permanently. This is not a petition of personal need; this is a petition for America's immediate and continuing improvement. Also, Qdoba.