Dear Mr. President:
We believe in the humane treatment of all people, regardless of race, creed, religion, or disability, and we value human life; however, we believe that compassion must be limited in accordance to the resources available to our nation. Thus, in order to humanely control the growth of our government, we hereby beseech you to use the tools available to you—namely, your pen and phone—to order all civilian members of the executive branch (excluding the Chief Executive, of course) and United States Postal Service to be spayed or neutered in a timely and affordable fashion.
With your help, Mr. President, we can control the stray Federal employee population.