In light of protests sweeping across the country and the revelation of a heretofore mostly unknown third verse extolling the murders of freed slaves, it is becoming increasingly apparent that the time for "The Star Spangled Banner" is coming to an end. Also it is an incredibly shitty song. Just awful. And with the Nobel commission's honoring of American songwriter Bob Dylan, this is a perfect opportunity for the United States to honor the greatest American songwriter, John Fogerty.
While we, as a shining light to the world, could commission a new anthem from Mr. Fogerty, why not instead choose and existing work. I put forth "Bad Moon Rising" as an obvious choice, because it portends an apocalypse that we will no doubt rain down like hellfire upon the desolate, joyless earth.