name The Honorable Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert, D.F.A., as the next US press secretary.

The Rev. Sir Dr. Stephen T. Mos Def Colbert, D.F.A., Heavyweight Champion of the World, is one of the greatest men to ever grace our television screens. It is only appropriate that he is now given the highest honor to respond to the weekly stupidity of other journalists. Please honor our request and name Mr. Colbert to his natural position.