We humbly request that President Obama prevent traffic pandemonium by NEVER visiting Los Angeles for non-essential functions. Essential functions include executive governance, family/personal matters, or snagging that choice parking spot right in front of your apartment building. Non-essential functions include, but are not limited to:
- Fundraisers at anyone’s house. Try Kickstarter. Zach Braff was able to get a bunch of shut-ins to give him millions. Think about how many BILLIONS you would score.
- Grabbing some all-you-can-eat BBQ in K-Town with George Clooney. No big loss — Clooney is engaged so he probably isn’t fun anymore.
- Playing a pick-up game at Staples Center because you’re pretty sure you can school the Lakers’ current putrid roster.
Full text: http://apulpatel.com/petition