We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national bird, one of the ready-to-eat Butterball variety. America has changed since 1782. Since then, we have realized that the bald eagle is not a tasty treat, and got no meat on its bone. And it is also protected due to its endangered status, leaving millions out of the opportunity to fry that sucker up. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us bird that better suits the glorious nation we have become.
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