We need to drop a nuclear bomb on Mars. We've dropped nukes plenty of times on earth, and nuclear explosions are totally rad, but they also tend to pretty bad for people's health, so it's time to take to the heavens.
Even though he just caught Benghazi, everyone still says Obama is looking weak. How's he gonna look if that poop eating jerk Putin nukes Mars before the USA does? Weaker, that's how he'll look.
What's Mars got going for it anyway? It might POSSIBLY have a little frozen whatever on it or whatever? Phh. Maybe some bacteria or other single-celled organism? Who cares? Better we nuke those suckers before they become sentient and nuke us. The best defense is a good offense, in both hockey and nuclear war with hypothetical aliens.
We can do this, America.
Dream big. Nuke Mars.