We, the People, believe that popular television and other variations of news broadcasting are laced with tragic and depressing headlines that put our country into ridicule. “3 killed, at least 133 injured in Marathon Blasts.” “ISIS behead Hostage.” “Old Man with Yellow Toupee elected President.” We feel that to repair these holes in our hearts and souls, and to add life that is long lost in our country, President Barack Obama must sing My Boo (Hitman's Club Mix).
Sure, this may sound like a revolutionary idea, but back when our founding father, James Madison, wrote the Constitution, democracy was just as crazy. Now it is the most common form of government in the world. We need Obama's buttery smooth voice to soothe us.
Besides, Toupee Man sounds like he's choking on a frog. Thank You.