Please sign my petition to rename the Cassowary as "The War Turkey". We all know this has been a long time coming.
Let us face it, "Cassowary" is an unfit, sissy name for a bird which wears a helmet made of its own skull and has pointed raptor claws up to 12cm.
"Cassowary" is an unfit name for a bird which has such as special, irreverent, angry streak and launches ninja jump-kicks when threatened.
"Cassowary" is an unfit name for the last animal alive that Australians fear.
So let's do what we know is right, and give the War Turkey its deserved title.
This is listed as a petition involving the environment, natural resources, and arts and humanities. The last might seem strange to those who have not seen the War Turkey's vibrant blue mohawk, or its testicle-looking scarf.
It must be so.