Oh great, wise, imperial leader of the United Socialist States of America! One score ago and 13 years ago, the at least 5th greatest rock band of all time graced us with their angelic melodies.
Who is this 5th greatest band of all time? And who are the first 4? The answer to that second question is unimportant and open to your imagination, but the first is legendary R.E.M.
Now, I bet you are wondering what these signature gatherers have in mind, right. Well this is a petition. We demand our bread and circuses! So, what the undersigned have decided is that you use crony capitalism for good for once. We want you, the imperial leader, the great one, to tell Google to tell Youtube to tell VEVO to make a channel for R.E.M.
This mission, if you accept it, is of the utmost importance.