Howdy!
Ah reckon that thar be a mighty large number of silly petitions on this here gov'ment website, so Ah though Ah'd actually suggest somethin' a mite useful. Y'all have the wrong idea, see, with this so-called secession talk. Why waste yer time when you could instead get all yer fancy schamncy science folk together and build a portal to Equestria? Ah reckon we have a smooth system over 'ere and y'all could learn a lot if ya spent a few months with us fine ponyfolk. So stop yer feudin' and fightin' and come on down ta Sweet Apple Acres! We're always ready to serve tha ponyfolk- and, err, whatever in tarnation y'all are.