We the People hereby petition the Obama administration to direct that the eleven states of the old Confederacy (Alabama, Arkansas, Florida, Georgia, Louisiana, Mississippi, North Carolina, South Carolina, Texas, and Virginia) be deemed to have seceded from the federal Union. The aforesaid states are fundamentally hostile to democratic process, racial equality, and paying their own way in terms of generating their fair share of national revenue. The extraction of the former Confederate states from the Union will yield benefits in: elevating the average intelligence quotient of the United States; promoting sane approaches to racially-charged issues like immigration; and preventing the rest of the country from having to support these southern Deadbeats in the future.
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