Fappy The Anti-Masturbation Dolphin is a national hero and should be immediately issued a full, free, and absolute pardon for any crimes of self-rape he may or may not have committed on November 13th, 2015 while in the dolphin exhibit at SeaWorld. If Fappy is incarcerated, millions of school children will remain uneducated about the dangers and consequences of masturbation. This will lead to a higher percent of teens playing with their sin sticks, ringing the Devil's doorbell and injecting marijuana. Free Fappy now!
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