We want back all of the money we have paid into taxes that has been wasted on useless government programs including, but not limited to: free cell phones; free food for lazy people (but please continue to provide it to those who truly need it); foreign aid to countries that despise us; IRS parties and $3,000 per night hotel rooms; your multi million dollar vacations; etc.
We want our money back so that we too can take elaborate vacations, and stay in $3,000 per night hotel rooms, throw swanky parties, and spend on items WE want.
Please ensure our payments are postmarked by midnight on April 15th every year.