Recently, a group of extremist sore losers have taken it upon themselves to petition that this Union that makes us strong as a nation be broken up because the person they wanted to win one single election did not win.
This petition hereby humbly requests that, should anything come of this childish and ridiculous request, rational minded people be allowed to abandon the sinking ship Arizona would become if it were allowed to secede and remain a part of the United States by simply moving to Phoenix.
Thank you for your time.