President Obama,
Hi, sorry to interrupt you. I know you're busy running a huge country and all. But we the people would like to grant states like Texas, Louisiana, Florida etc. the right to secede from the nation. They don't know how good they got it. It's like a weird breakup, man. Let um go for a while, they're spoiled. They'll be back. While they're gone, we can really party 7 get things done!
And we should take them in again when they come dragging their feet back to us, because, even though they have no clue what they'd be missing, we're that awesome of a nation. But when they come around looking for a little US lovin' it's gonna have to come with a new attitude!