We, the people of Fisher Hall (alternatively known as Fishermen) have been complacent for much too long with regards to the university's policy. Now is the time to act. No longer shall we be yoked with the unnecessary burdens arising from strict university policy.
We want a hall free from the tyranny of parietals. May it be one where brotherhood is encouraged through acts of hazing.
If you are afraid of accidentally forcibly fondling a girl then fear no more, you will be protected. 17 will be the new 18 in the seceded Fisher Hall.
The economy is out of control and we don't like the current president. Seceding from Notre Dame is the only logical option.
Note: We still want to retain access to all of the university benefits, namely a great education and student tickets.