Peacefully ignore the secessionist residents of the great state of Tennessee.

We, the mentally stable and socially competent, residents of Tennessee are ashamed of the recent act by our fellow Tennesseans. We believe in the United States of America and wish to stay within this great Union. We also believe that those petitioning are in fact undercover Alabamians (is that word?) or very confused East Tennesseans (that is word!). We also ask the Federal Government to grant the counties of Haywood, Hardeman, Shelby, Rutherford, and Davidson the right to secede from Tennessee, contingent upon the second successful secession (alliteration!) of the great state of Tennesse (future of great country of Tennessee?).