For almost a year now, Thomas E Clay Jr has been pestering people on the internet while fighting a futile and childish troll war. In our deranged little friend's poisoned and dope-riddled mind-- he conflates insults made in a digital forum to "real life" attacks, to which he has responded with threats made to employers and children alike. He is the preeminent social pariah of the internet; he also rapes cats.
We humbly request that the President of the United States, via executive order, permanently ban Mr. Clay from utilizing and accessing the internet. We also ask that you make it illegal for him to go withing 200 feet of a dwelling known to contain small animals, as Mr. Clay's penchant for forced sodomy with felines is both disturbing and sad.
Thank you, and God Bless the USA.