It seems many citizens, upset with proposed gun control legislation and displaying an extreme ideological bent are stockpiling weapons and preparing to re-create Civil War 2.0. This would be bad as it would disrupt commerce and possibly force McDonald's to have to abandon the Dollar Menu due to increased food prices. Taking a clue from The Art of War, I say we cut the head off of this movement by depriving it of its cultural gathering place. Judging from a recent Friday night at the bar at Applebees and watching the clientele that were singing bad karaoke and doing Jello shots, I am convinced I was watching conspirators opposed to our current government. Thus closure of all Applebees would be a strategic step to saving us from Civil War 2.0 with the bonus of saving us from really bad food.
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