This petition proposes to alter the American flag in such a way that resonates more profoundly with the contemporary citizen's values, by changing the fifty stars to fifty portraits of American hero Hulk Hogan.
Hulk Hogan embodies the pluck, indomitable spirit, and uncompromising loyalty to fundamental American principles that every American would do well to emulate. His distinctive mustache, and massive physique, would serve to terrify our terrorist enemies, cowing them into submission with his Herculean 24-inch pythons.