Thought their efforts were valiant, and seeing it is painfully apparent to all but the Tea Party and GOP that their policies are now a heaping pile of smoldering ash destined for the mighty historical waste basket, it is hereby declared that the First Wednesday of November shall henceforth be recognized as a National Day of mourning for both Tea Party and Grand Old Party platforms and ideologies, forever known as "The Great Shellacking of O-12."
Further, as this is the United States of America, whose residents are always up for a party, this day will be recognized with fire works, BBQ's, and consumption of our favorite beverages of choice, thus allowing all Americans to continue the celebration of our soon-to-be National Election Day holiday. Party on, Mr. President.